Praises

I attended a few parenting talks after P was born. Not trying to be the best parents but just dun wan to be like my parents. I remembered one speaker vividly, we are nt supposed to praise a kid, smart or clever when they have performed a task, rather we will just tell them good job. With P going to cc, I noticed that she is using the phrase good job, very good compared to my nieces; they like to use the phrase so clever. My personal view is that when kids are praise as clever, they just take things likely thinking that they are smart and will not even try. Whereas kids that are nt praised smart but were told good job, they are more likely to try harder or keep trying.

Reading Today this morning, I saw an article, “The trouble with bright kids” commented on the smart-praise kids have difficulty learning something new and they take it as a sign that they are not ‘good’ and ‘smart’ rather than a sign that they need to try harder.

I wan P to be a confident child when she grows up, i wan her to know her abilities which she is capable of if she tried and practice. I wan her to be able to take up challenges rather than chicken out because she cant do it. I wan her to be able to make a reroute or detour if she met a roadblock. I m not stingy with my praises, i dun wan her to have a big head. Perhaps the right choice of words and praises will help. I wan her to do well and be better off than me

Parents, so much to learn.